This fucking sucks and everyone can go fuck themselves for the next two weeks.
I am dropping out a bit out of the social scene. I will not be answering my phone (or at least all the time), reading blogs, and only writing on mine sporadically for the next two weeks. I am all partied out, but have a funny story from the weekend I will have to post.
I was propositioned for sex three times in one night, that is a record even for myself.
Secondly, I am taking on the job responsibilities of a girl who quit. This sucks, I will now be doing two jobs instead of one and making the same amount. But I stand two chances of promotion so this will be taking over my life for the next couple of weeks.
I am just going to keep writing jackassed posts.
Tonight I am going out and tearing it up. Seriously fucking letting loose. A few of my girlfriends are coming and it seems like it's time for some real fucking debauchery. I am not actually sure I know how to do debauchery anymore....
Next weekend I am going to Philly to a house party. I get to meet all my roomie's friends. It's going to be a lot of fun, there should be guys and girls alike. I need to get out of the city, I never leave. I leave the state about once a year. My family lives in Philly, though I am not sure I am ready to see them. I might need a little more preparation to be smothered by Great Aunt love.
This is absolutely ridiculous, I am just typing to write on blogger. I hate easyjournal, it's boring to look at and I can't post pictures.
I am also listening to opera right now, yes, I listen to opera. I couldn't do rum and popcorn's tag because I didn't want to state what I have been listening to now. It's strangely calming.
What else can I write that no one will most likely read....
3 things I did this week:
-acted like a douche bag and got slapped in the face a lot for it.
-drank a beer twice at 11 am in the morning on two different days
-I wrote a list of all the guys (not actual names) I have been with, not with, and almost with....posted it on the blog. I think I am going to take it down. I kind of did it to be flippant, but I thought it was interesting to write about numbers, since men are so obsessed with numbers. It was more of a personal exercise less of an actual "this is what I want". Fortunately for me, the blog crashed so no one has actually read this post yet.
I am in a great fucking mood right now and jamming to opera. And I am out....
This feels fucking fantastic.
I lost 10 pounds this week or at least somewhere in the past month at least.
I have been really sick this week, mostly of my own doing. I got kind of worried yesterday because it's been about 7 days since I have been able to hold down food. I get sick a lot and I can't sleep. I almost called up my psychiatrist friend and asked her to prescribe me something for my nerves.
It came quite out of nowhere, I didn't know I was melting down until it was too late. The key to a meltdown is to immerse yourself in it, don't fight it. Yesterday, I went to the gym and worked out all my aggression in two hours during work. It felt great, for the first time in 3 months, I felt like myself.
It's embarrassing to talk about having a breakdown, because a lot of the time you can't really explain it. I don't know what caused it, I was just trying to juggle too many things at once. Today, I am feeling pretty normal today. The thing that was troubling me kind of faded out. I stopped fighting the inevitable and accepted it.
But it's definitely left me with this feeling that I need to disappear for awhile. I need to sort myself out, create new goals, and work on them.
So this is awkward.
I am loving the blogger right now, it's like a secret since everyone reads the other blog now.
I feel like I should write it down so I can put more weight into over the following days. It's come to my attention that it may be imminent for me to leave the blogging world. I have discussed it with people and I feel like my internet time might be over.
I have successfully gotten rid of my blogroll over the past five days. A habit I didn't think I could change, but I have rarely- if at all- read a blog. I haven't even posted on easyjournal in two days, and lo and behold, the world did not stop turning.
The blog either has to turn anonymous or come down all together. I just don't think that I want to be a part of this anymore. I feel like I want to start doing something different. It's gone as far as it might go. My birthday is around the corner and the need for change on a multi dimensional level has come. I kind of like the idea of becoming unknown again. I might delete all internet profiles also.
I no longer want to be referred to as an internet persona or a backlog of archives.
We are still at the pondering stage though.... I need more time to feel the weight of this decision.
mmm... something doesn't seem right here....
I have missed you blogger, though I can't post long things, I can fuck around a bit with it til easyjournal comes back up.
The guy who lost my cell phone two months ago wants to get together next week. Ok, I have rarely spoken to him in two months and he made barely any effort to get my cell phone found. This seems off to me. This is the kind of guy who probably wants to sleep with you. There's a big warning bell.
I am somewhat curious to find out what he wants from me. Friendship? Romance? Friendship? Drinking buddy? The good news is I won't have to leave my neighborhood.
I don't think he is a gomer, he has somewhat of a lucrative career, I know two people who could benefit from knowing him. Every time I see him he seems cuter than I remember. We will see what happens. I don't expect him to keep the date.
Go Fuck Yourself.
As fun as this has been, I am done with my nervous breakdown.
Tonite will commence the end of my 7 day binging streak and dry heaving every other hour.
Even I can only care for so long before I begin to lose interest in personal turmoil.
It's been fun, but I might need a decent night's rest now and some perspective on what to do on the approaching job promotion.
Blogging the love from Harlem
I am hanging out with DrunkBrunch right now in Harlem at her apartment with a bottle of wine, crappy tv, and her horny cat. Bitch is crazy.
We are watching Girlfriends, my favorite Sex and the City substitute for strong women with high ideals. I am absolutely in love with this show right now. To quote Lynn, "He is seeing all these other women and it's making me crazy. The sex is great. But I love his love of music. Maybe he will change, he will see how good we are." Maya- "Girl that is crazy! Dump him Bitch"! Classic. Seriously, they have some great advice on this show. Not to mention the last Sex episode was on and we got all emotional and shit because Carrie finally gets Mr. Big. We are total girls.
Lan Mei spent all night putting her ass in my face and try to get up all on my dick. The only problem, I am not male, nor a cat, nor do I have a dick. I feel so used. She spent 4 hours by my side, then we post coital cuddled, then she up and left my ass. Bitch. I thought we had a real connection. In other news, I entered my baby in the Kitten Wars, He has won 22 and lost 16. How can you not find my Moo Shu Pork (also Babaloo) adorable? People who are obsessed with F.R.E.D's (Friendly Reliable Electronic Devices) and have no lives are pathetic.
Drunk and I seriously did nothing tonight, we sat around watching tv and playing on our respective laptops. Best. night. ever. Nothing like some serious girl time to forget the ass you are not having. It's been an extremely non-productive day. I love non-productive days that involve close to no interaction and little work actually being done.
In other news, last night I apparently slept walk into my roommate's bedroom and got into bed with her. I find this mildly amusing because when I get stressed out, mostly 3 years ago, I did this once before. I talked about having problems sleeping and this is kind of indicative of that. Stress causes strange havoc on the body, it might be time for some yoga.
